I can imagine. Maybe time for a new job? This would give you a fresh start, new people, prospects etc.

"What if she is with someone else? (the thought rips my heart apart)"

You have to face up to it that this will happen sooner or later (if it isn’t already). It’s NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS! She’s not your girlfriend anymore so WHY do you care? The answer is you don’t, ‘if you love someone, let them go. If they never come back it was never meant to be’ goes the saying and it’s true. Much of your post shows you are still hankering after her and until you sort that out you’ll never move on. Nobody’s saying you should forget her, just stop thinking about her all the time.

"Will I ever meet someone or will I end up alone?"

You’re 36 (still young), with your own job, able to string whole sentences together without any spelling mistakes, you’ve obviously quite bright, damn, this puts you in about the top 5% of males out there!

"At 36 will I ever meet someone to settle down with and have a family?"

You can chase after younger women (and might get lucky) or you can go for someone nearer your own age. Chances are that many women in their mid-thirties will already have kids, so this is the situation you’ll have to face up to. Get yourself on a reputable dating site and see what’s about.

Re. self confidence: It maybe that you need to try something REALLY dramatic to increase your self-confidence, perhaps some crazy extreme sport or something.

"Do something everyday that scares you" is a brilliant piece of advice and that "scare" can be anything from asking a good-looking woman for the time, speaking in public or bungy jumping!

References :
Been there, done that and so have all my friends.

What have you got to be optimistic about…well you have a good job ( a plus in womens books) your own home ( another plus) and you are mature and ready for commitment ( a big plus ) She is 26 and hence immature, she probably reckons she can run around dating like as if she was 19 again or some such nonsense.

My only advice is that we have all been there but you have a head-start on most of us ( the pluses i mentioned ) When the going gets tough, the tough get going. All the best and dont let the bastar*ds get you down
References :
Im a real man`s man

Bit of a long story but I really need help at the moment. Bit of background first. I am a 36 year old man and I am single again! My whole history with relationships seems to be that I want the wrong women. This is either women that are difficult or women that I think are too good for me in terms of looks etc and that I feel lucky to be with them. Whenever there has been a relationship with someone kind and caring and someone who wants to do stuff for me I become less interested. I really can’t explain why it happens.
My gilfriend left me four weeks ago and I am still devastated. I have been trying to keep busy and I have avoided calling or texting her except to arrange for her to get her stuff. The way I have been feeling since she left is the worst I have ever felt. The pain is eating me up.

What makes it terrible is that we both work together and this is obviously incredibly difficult. Some of the time I am quite optimistic about the future but mostly I am having negative thoughts such as;

What if she is with someone else? (the thought rips my heart apart)
Will I ever meet someone or will I end up alone?
At 36 will I ever meet someone to settle down with and have a family?

How can I improve my self esteem and self worth because unless I like myself nobody will like me. Although I am aware that I have a lot to offer, I have a good job, my own house etc. I still feel that I have missed my chance for happiness and the way that I saw my life going hasn’t happened.

I have read lots of advice on the internet and I have tried to follow it. I have got rid of stuff that reminds me of her. I have started a hobby, something I have put off for years, I am spending time with close friends and family and I realise that with time it will get easier but that doesn’t help me now!
I know that this will make me sound soft but I am constantly upset and I feel like I have nothing to look forward to.
How long will it take for the pain to go away?

The reason my girlfriend left me is that she is no longer attracted to me. I have really low self esteem and I suppose I am quite needy and this reason has made the split and my negative feeling even worse. She is 26 so there was a big difference in our ages. Also she had split up with me twice before and we have got back together. I have always felt that I loved her more than she loved me.

Does anyone have any tips on what will help? I really appreciate all the advice you can give.

At the moment I am just existing. In the past I have been optimistic but at the moment nothing seems to be able to break me away from this downward spiral!

Thanks in advance

(ADULTS ONLY PLEASE)