Brooke said to Gary, “In our entire relationship, I’ve gone above and beyond for you … for us. I cook. I take up your shit off the floor. I’ve laid your clothes for you like you were a four-year old. I’ve supported you, your work or anything. I make the plans. I take care of everything. But I don’t feel you appreciate any of it. I don’t feel that you appreciate me. All I want from you is to show me that you care.” Gary retorted, “Why didn’t you just say that to me?” In tears, Brooke said, “Gary, I’ve tried.” Gary answered, “But never like that. You might have said things that may mean like that but I am not a mind reader.”
Above is a conversation of Brooke (Jennifer Aniston) and Gary (Vince Vaughn) in the movie “The Break-up.” This is a classic example of a poor communication or miscommunication which led to rejection, hurt, misunderstanding that eventually resulted in the falling-out between partners Brooke and Gary. This is a movie that solidly mirrors reality. Partners may have difficulty putting their feelings into words or the wife speaks but the husband avoids or does not listen. Communication is the essence of any relationship. However, communication is also a two-way process. You may talk as much as you want but you also need to listen well as much. “We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak,” as Greek philosopher Epictetus perfectly puts it.
Human relationship is basically a balance of communication and compromise. And just like communication and compromise, relationship is all about giving and taking, loving and being loved in return.
But how do we make communication work in a relationship? The key here is to talk freely and listen excellently. Open up your feelings, thoughts, aspirations, hurts and complaints to your partner. And when your partner does the talking, you need to be the excellent listener by not condemning, attacking or lecturing the other. When it is your time to talk, your partner will likewise do the same thing for you. And after each one has heard all that has to be said, work out for a compromise.
Partners should likewise bear in mind that each one is entitled to his/her own feelings and opinions, that no two people are exactly the same, that each one is totally unique emotionally, physically and mentally. Respect for one another should guide the relationship. Once both partners accepted the individuality and uniqueness of one another will fear to communicate be eliminated; and only then will open communication ensue.
Also, take note that words can make or break your partner or any person. Would you rather discourage than uplift your better half? It is quite essential to think first before you speak. Take control of your anger and temper. Always bear in mind that words are gifts and should be used to inspire, encourage and motivate others. So to avoid having the same story as Brooke and Gary, as Dr. Laurence Peter suggests, “Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.”
Ron Zvagelsky
http://www.articlesbase.com/relationships-articles/making-communication-work-for-your-relationship-83621.html
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Need to cure candida?
January 28th, 2010 at 3:50 am
What is the key to making a long distance (10hours) relationship work, besides communication?
January 28th, 2010 at 8:52 am
Trust.
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January 28th, 2010 at 8:54 am
trust
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January 28th, 2010 at 8:56 am
A car and lots of time & money. That’s my honest opinion. Otherwise tons of trust.
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January 28th, 2010 at 8:58 am
Phone Sex
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January 28th, 2010 at 9:00 am
honey if i knew, my daughter’s father and i would still be together.
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January 28th, 2010 at 9:02 am
Have a car that has really good gas mileage
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disgusted at yahoo answers.
January 28th, 2010 at 9:04 am
The only thing that you guys need is communication, honesty and trust.
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AshleeDanielleAdvice.blogspot.com
January 28th, 2010 at 9:06 am
loyalty and trust, and try to see each other at lest twice a month.
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January 28th, 2010 at 9:08 am
trust, phone sex, gifts (flowers, cards, etc) and planned trips to see them…(sometime or another!) buy a webcam!
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January 28th, 2010 at 9:10 am
knowing that both of you are committed 100% to the relationship… it will never work if one of you is having doubts… talk openly and honestly about what concerns you have to each other…
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January 28th, 2010 at 9:12 am
do ur perfect romance and get to sleep there after
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landile
January 28th, 2010 at 9:14 am
I think you send her flowers on a long distant relationship that could be a good thing. Or maybe you two could meet in the middle (5 hour drive) and eat at a restaurant.
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me
January 28th, 2010 at 9:16 am
Use a camera on your computer to see each other online. Visit each other as much as possible.
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January 28th, 2010 at 9:18 am
A hot shower!
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January 28th, 2010 at 9:20 am
honesty, trust (both are born out of frequent communication and familiarity) and patience
thats how my girl and i have dealt with it
in long distance you have to be even more straightforward and honest with everything to them,
if you cant physically be with someone its much easier to fall into suspicion, fear, and any other trappings, so you have to be completely 100% truthful and trusting each other all the time and no hiding problems or p*ssyfooting around since there are no signals to read
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January 28th, 2010 at 9:22 am
a girl on the side that doesn’t mind being a secret
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January 28th, 2010 at 9:24 am
a very very very good reason to remain separated
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January 28th, 2010 at 9:26 am
yea communication is one of the top things along with trust on both sides and also each putting in the effort to make things work, both need to put in the work needed to keep things going. I’m in my 2nd long distance, this time i know its more likely to work as my bf is putting in all the effort he can and we try and see each other as much as poss, 3 mnths and counting and i culdnt be happier
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January 28th, 2010 at 9:28 am
well what the others say and a webcam on skype would probably help. its hard to paint a face from memory
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January 28th, 2010 at 9:30 am
RESPECT + LOVE + COMMITMENT =T RUST= a good relationship
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January 28th, 2010 at 9:32 am
Like everyone else has said trust, VERY important!! But another thing that is equally important is whether or not your relationship is based on a sexual attraction/lust or a combined physical attraction and a actual match up as far as personality and chemistry…if you are friends with your partner and you love them because of who they are (flaws and all) then your relationship can survive most that don’t are because there wasn’t enough actual love in the relationship…too many ppl confuse lust for love…
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Girlfriend of United States Marine
January 28th, 2010 at 9:34 am
Keeping a little side thing close to home for those lonely nights that goes for both men and woman
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